


Puer Magicus

by WildKitte



Series: Soumako-week 2014 [2]
Category: Free!, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossover, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Melancholy, Mental Health Issues, Sousuke's shoulder again, how, this is the silliest thing i've ever written but also one of the saddest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2447747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildKitte/pseuds/WildKitte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"What did you wish for, Makoto?"</i>
  <br/>
  <i>"Sousuke, what have you done?"</i>
  <br/>
  <i>"I asked for fame."</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Not as ridiculous as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Puer Magicus

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to @oberyns-orgies for being a great and encouraging beta <3
> 
> //EDIT: Did something to the layout (why is iT SO DIFFICULT am I just stupid or what???

 

”What did you wish for, Makoto?”

Sousuke's tone is tired and broken, and suddenly fear grabs Makoto by the throat. He clutches the phone, his heart is beating like he's a dying man and it never stops, the shaking of his hands, it never stops.

”Sousuke, what have you done?”

”I asked for fame, Makoto.”

The line goes all static and Makoto starts running.

 

*

 

Kyuube appeared to him during Haru's deepest depression season so far.

Makoto was scared. He was afraid of losing his best friend in the whole world, he was afraid of the _alone_ and the threat of loss was looming in the air every passive, pregnant, dark day Haru struggled past. And Haru wasn't alright, he didn't even deny or try to hide it anymore, just stared at the ceiling, soaked in the bath, mutely, empty eyes and hollow cheeks. He was disappearing before Makoto's very eyes, thinning to a shadow and there was nothing Makoto could do about it. He tried to talk, he made food and cleaned the house, he knew the personnel of the nearest pharmacy and every time he came for a new dose of medicine for Haru, they asked the same questions: how is Nanase, you look tired, do you sleep, you're such a good friend Tachibana.

 

He wasn't a good friend. He was so tired of Haru he was going insane.

 

_Maybe_ , he often thought,  _maybe if I was something more_ . More caring, more empathic, just  _more_ , maybe Haru would... Maybe Haru would come together, get better. Get out of the dark depths he had dived to.

_Maybe if I was Rin_ .

And Makoto really wanted to get out of this house.

 

So when Kyuube came to him, filled with promises and stories of a better future, satisfying his need to selflessly help people and selfishly get something out of it, selfishly get Haru back again, he agreed without a second thought.

”I just want Haru to be happy”, he said and Kyuube smiled that disturbing smile of his.

”You're a good friend, Makoto.”

 

He wasn't a good friend. He was all but a good friend.

 

*

 

Makoto doesn't really know where to look, but he just _assumes_ and hopes he gets it right. He considers calling Rin, because Rin would probably know, Rin was Sousuke's best friend and wouldn't just turn a blind eye. He just isn't ready, not right now, to hear Rin's happy voice and Haru's shuffling in the background and break it all down with his ragged breaths and broken voice, _where is Sousuke, where is your best friend, Rin, did you cast him aside too, did you leave him alone like your lover did, do you even know who your best friend is anymore you asshole_ , he can't. He can't. He went through so much trouble to get Haru back from that hell and he will not let it crumble.

 

So he runs, runs to the station and looks for trails of Sousuke, listens to the sounds far away, maybe he'll figure it out before something horrible happens. The sun is slowly setting in the horizon and the traffic of this town, this huge city none of them wanted to live in, is quieting down to blurred noises and white sounds, everything painted with orange, pink and black and Makoto feels like his feet are stuck on the ground, he just can't run fast enough, he has to hurry before Sousuke is out of his reach.

 

His phone buzzes in his pocket. It's Rin, asking what Sousuke is up to. _He sent an odd message to me just now_ , it says and Makoto halts in his tracks. He presses the call-button. Rin picks up at third ring.

”Makoto.”

”What else did he say?”

”Makoto what is thi--?”

”Rin. What else did he say.”

Rin's voice is laced with worry but he doesn't need to know, not yet, when there's still time and Makoto's heart hasn't still broken into tiny shrapnels.

 

*

 

”What are you doing on my grounds?” someone asked him and Makoto turned around, surprised to face a boy clothed in a dark mahou shounen-outfit, tight jean-like black trousers and a wine-red tank top (no, it's not like he was writing a novel or anything, he just nowadays noticed those things – red was a colour of ambition and passion and there was probably a good reason why this boy was known in the mahou-community).

”You're Yamazaki Sousuke, right?” Makoto asked, mesmerized, because not only did that neat costume suit him, he was also handsome. Dark features, strict face, a body build like god's and oh, _oh_ , he was even taller than Makoto.

”Yes, and you're on my grounds”, Yamazaki answered, visibly ired and he stepped from the shadows closer to Makoto. The street light they stood under hung down wearily above them and pulsated strange waves all around them, surrounding them gently to the blanket of light darkness.

”I didn't realise. Sorry.”

”We're being sucked in by a witch.”

”I know, sorry.”

”Stop apologising and help me, Tachibana”, Sousuke grunted and took his Soul Gem out once again and Makoto followed.

”How did you know my--”

”Shut up and _help me_ ”, Sousuke interrupted and a dark sword appeared from the ground.

 

The witch was a big one and Sousuke actually needed help at one point, where the witch got him by the arm with its long nails that were sticking out of a plushie-like creature – Makoto simply shot at the witch, which then proceeded to let Sousuke kill it off, by mistake or on purpose, these days Makoto wasn't sure anymore.

Sousuke landed roughly on the concrete, quickly rolling off his right shoulder to his stomach and Makoto hurried to him, offering a hand.

”Are you okay, Yamazaki-kun?” he asked, concerned, and Sousuke stared up at him until reached to take the hand and Makoto pulled him up.

”Uh, yeah”, Sousuke said then, still looking at him wide-eyed and with wonder, his teal-coloured eyes stubbornly holding Makoto's stare – like he now actually _noticed_ Makoto, from up-close, and decided to never let his eyes wander again. ”Nice shot.”

”Thank you.”

 

*

 

The pool, of course it's the pool.

This is where they met the second time, off-work and incognito, surprised to see each other and they had returned here over and over again to repeat that coincidence and transform it into an occurrence. That was where they had told each other secrets after hours, when people had deserted the showers and locker rooms, where they'd tell stories of witches and past lives, avoiding the weak and dark spots of their histories. The pool was where Makoto fell in love with teal-coloured eyes staring into his; in that pool, pressed against the cold tiles had Sousuke stolen his not-first kiss and many more, the cool water doing nothing to ease the heat burning within their bodies.

Of course it is here, where Sousuke is going to hurt him the most.

 

And Sousuke is there, sitting on the edge of the pool, changed to a swimsuit, the Soul Gem resting as a ring in a silver necklace. It's dark, the Gem. Makoto can feel it from afar, through these stupid meters distancing them and he's just not fast enough, he is almost there, Sousuke is _right there, just reach_ \--

”Stop.”

And Makoto does.

”Don't come closer. You'll get hurt.” Sousuke's voice is raw now, hoarse like he's worn his voice off raging at whatever unfortunate fate lies there in front of him (and maybe he has, Makoto knows why but he doesn't dare to think about it).

Oh and there it is. Purpling, red, inflamed shoulder. Damaged, broken, useless. Witches' curses last forever in their short lifetimes.

 

”Is it the curse?”

”Don't.” Sousuke is warning him.

”You didn't tell me it was that bad. You should've told me.”

”Makoto.”

”Have you asked Kyuube about it?”

”That useless rat can't do shit anyway.”

Makoto looks at Sousuke's back, the defined muscles and avoids looking at the shoulder, his ultimate failure, that he was too oblivious to, he didn't notice, _if he had just been more_.

Sousuke shifts, moves to make space for Makoto, who takes the last few steps and sits next to him. Makoto looks at their feet, dipped underwater, the cool liquid soothing his nerves just a bit and he leans closer to Sousuke.

”I'm sorry I didn't know.” He turns to look at Sousuke, who is still staring somewhere in the distance, lightyears and eternities away. ”I'm sorry.” And he presses a gentle kiss on the shoulder, his lips trembling slightly.

 

”Don't you blame yourself, Tachibana”, Sousuke says quietly, almost distant, and it hurts a bit. Makoto leans away from the shoulder and shakes his head.

”I should've known. You wouldn't have told me anyway. You don't trust me enough.”

Sousuke cringes and glances Makoto. Then he lays his hand carefully atop of Makoto's.

”I wouldn't have told you. But I trust you. I trust you with my life and you know it.”

The worst thing is, that Makoto understands.

 

”Why did you ask for fame?” he asks instead. Sousuke tenses and tightens his grip on Makoto's hand. For a while he doesn't say anything and the setting sun paints warm colours on his skin and Makoto wants to kiss that expression away, that of pain and anxiety and shame.

”I wanted to swim. With Rin.” Simple as that. ”Should've been more specific, I guess.”

”What happened?”

”Rin went to Australia. Got better. Came back and got even better. At some point I got stuck with swimming and I was afraid he'd leave me behind. And all that was before Rin met Haru.” Sousuke's tone is harsher now, as it is always when it comes to Haru and Rin.

”They're happy.” Makoto can't say any more because this is a deep and painful wound, still stinging like a phantom pain during cold, lonely nights.

”They are”, Sousuke admits. ”But what about us?” He frowns, nose crinkling in disgust.

”Is it so wrong for us to want happiness? A promise of future instead of this endless fighting? What is fame compared to everything I've lost?” Sousuke laughs bitterly. ”I guess I should've read the small print. Fame comes with a damaged shoulder. I can never swim again. I will never be normal again. This is the end. This is all we're going to get.”

And he looks at Makoto, and he may be apologising for something.

 

They fall into a painful silence, the water splashing against the edges of the pool, the suffocating smell of chlorine filling Makoto's senses.

”I asked for Haru to be happy again”, he says then, quietly. He sighs, trying to gather himself together, pick the pieces up before he cuts himself again. ”It was bad. It was terrible, actually. He was in a horrible shape and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing helped. He was dying, slowly fading and I couldn't do anything.”

Sousuke nods stiffly.

”I just didn't... I just didn't think that it wasn't me Haru was going to be happy with.” Makoto laughs bitterly. ”I guess it was never meant to be that way, either. Now I'm just a... Just an empty shell. Without the Soul Gem I'm not even human anymore. Haru has no use for a friend like that. He's got Rin and I'm just on the way.”

”Would you stop talking about Nanase already?”

”Sorry.”

 

It is still quiet as something rumbles inside the building and the shadows grow few inches longer around them. Sousuke doesn't seem to notice, or just chooses to ignore it, and Makoto has to fight back tears. Sousuke's Soul Gem is filthy, tainted almost black and there's nothing Makoto can do anymore, except wait for the inevitable.

”I think”, he says then and laces his fingers among Sousuke's, pressing another soft kiss on the inflamed shoulder. ”I should've asked for love instead.”

Sousuke looks at him, with that fond smile of his and leans forward for a proper goodbye kiss.

 

”I'm sorry, Makoto.”

And the world explodes in Makoto's ears.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is just??? This was supposed to be a crack-fic??? And then things just went down. I don't know. Maybe I'm sad inside.
> 
> If you liked, please leave a kudos and a comment, I'd appreciate that a lot.  
> twitter [@wildkitte](https://twitter.com/wildkitte) tumblr [@wildkittewrites](http://wildkittewrites.tumblr.com/)


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